These past years, I have been too afraid to do the wrong thing or take responsibility for
my actions because of how it will reflect on me. You get what you give. If I give love to others
around me and my passions, they will give some back. With each drop of love, my soul will
slowly fill and that is fulfilment. Maybe I am not looking for happiness, but fulfillment.
Happiness does not reflect the hardship, work and character that it goes into meaningful
relationships and experiences. Yes, I think that is it. I will live with fulfillment in mind instead of
being distracted by happiness’ beguiling song. Okay, I am going to the hospital to bring Olivia
her favorite ice cream, Maple Fudge Swirl. I hope she is feeling better.
And someone is not automatically a good person if they are tremendously beautiful; their
external beauty doesn’t reflect internal complexity. I have found that it is rarely that way
actually. So, why does it feel so good to be told that you are beautiful?
The sun stretched and yawned, bathing the sea in a wash of overwhelming gold. As the
waves crested, veins ran up and over the face, giving the waves a living pulse. In the ocean I am
forced to be present in the moment - the worried voices in my head are drowned by my
concentration on tangoing with the sea - is that line a wave? It is - paddle, paddle, paddle,
My sister Olivia says that she likes her school. Anyone would probably like her because
she is the kindest person I know. She moves through the world like a river that gives life to
things around it. Here, in Carpinteria, my favorite memories are cooky dance parties around our
small warm-yellow house, staying out to watch meteor showers, taste-testing our way through
farmer’s markets and lounging in the sun. I am so grateful for her.